Like many other kids across the US, I grew up constantly hearing the phrase “if you don’t have anything nice to say then don’t say anything.” The reminder was meant to ward off the gossip that we more than likely saw practiced by the very people who constantly repeated the phrase. Contradictions aside, they had the right idea.
In the era of Fizz, YikYak, and other anonymous messaging apps I’d like to amend this phrase to: “If you wouldn’t say it to their face then don’t say it.”
It doesn’t take much scrolling on the Fizz app, which touched down on UNC’s campus last spring, to find sniped photos of random people on campus with outrageous and entirely unproven accusations being thrown at them in the comments. One of users’ favorite questions is: “Is he/she going?”
For a generation which so proudly declares that they’re “standing on business,” spending your time talking trash about people you barely know behind a coded fortress seems a lot more like “tiptoeing on business.” I’m sure we’ve all heard it before but let me remind you in case you’ve forgotten–say it to their face.
The problem with apps like Fizz and YikYak is this: some of you have gotten too brave behind that screen. Anonymity emboldens us to be cruel and to air out our worst thoughts, no matter how unreasonable or unfounded. There’s a reason why gossip should be limited to bedrooms and the top floors of Davis after 10 pm–because it limits the spread. The second you take your issues with people onto an anonymous app like Fizz you’ve invited everyone to jump on the dogpile.
Mind you, you don’t have to know these people to make these accusations. The only requirement for posting on Fizz is boredom and having nothing better to do with your life.
Now, I’m not one to question the accuracy of what you’re saying. I regularly say “I shouldn’t have said that. I was not wrong… but I shouldn’t have said that.” In fact, some of the things that I’ve seen on Fizz I actually agree with, but that’s not the point. The point is that it shouldn’t have been said in the first place. It especially shouldn’t have been said if you’re saying it from a place of resentment rather than actual criticisms.
I’m not going to hold you here with a long philosophical spiel about the importance of accountability and honesty. My point is this–if someone leaked the names behind a lot of the posts on Fizz I suspect the amount of people walking around campus with their heads on swivel would double overnight.
I’m begging some of you–if you have something to say, please say it to their face. I promise they won’t fight you about it (except they actually might–that’s kind of the luck of the draw so make sure you don’t pick the “right one.”)
There’s a difference between standing on business and “speaking the truth” and just using gossip as a way to feel better about yourself.
One last thing–for those of you posting about yourself on Fizz just to fake outrage in the real world? Yeah… y’all are weird. No further notes.
