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By: Karizma Greene (’25), Staff Writer
As the weather starts to change and leaves start to fall, we enter what the new age would call “cuffing season.” During this season, new relationships tend to emerge for some, but for others, they may be conversely filled with a cycle that includes intense heartbreak, inward reflection, and a renewed body and mind. Though all people may experience this strange rhythm of love, there is much to be said for Black women and their unique experiences. Just in time for “cuffing season,” Summer Walker releases her sophomore album titled Still Over It where she details her recent tug of war with love and self-image.
Constant B******t
There is no definitive guide to navigating heartache because it is not only personal but also a fragile period of our lives. Although everyone’s situations are different, we tend to go through similar emotions and phases. One of these phases often includes blaming ourselves for someone else’s faults. For Black women, this phase often manifests itself as us asking ourselves “was I being too difficult?” I believe this stems from the angry Black woman trope society has placed us. After consistently being disregarded, our expressions of emotions are interpreted as nagging and complaining. This stereotype has made us more conscious of the way in which we express our grievances to avoid ridicule. Self-blaming is not only taxing to the mind, but it can also serve as the catalyst for severe self-loathing which alters our images of ourselves. We tend to beat ourselves up over others’ lack of comprehension of our own emotions and often feel frustrated from being misunderstood. After a while, we may internalize this idea and this can lead to a downward spiral of low self-esteem.
Throw It Away
The saying goes that black women are superheroes but there lies both positive and negative sides to this myth. As stated before, it doesn’t allow us to be fully comfortable with standing firm in the expression of our emotions. Nonetheless, we are powerful and this power gives us the room necessary to self-reflect and come to realization. Oftentimes, Black women get so lost in responsibility that we forget to take time for ourselves. After analyzing the situation, we are able to realize that, in a lot of cases, we are not the problem and that we have “been taking on baggage,” which ultimately means we nurture the worst in our partners.
Ciara’s Prayer
It’s amazing how despite it all Black women inevitably pull themselves to a renewed state. Through this cycle we are able to gain a new mind and body which we use to recognize that we do deserve better. In “Ciara’s Prayer”, Summer Walker explains what exactly is better, starting with a longing to “restore [her] faith in love.” Black women are too often stripped of opportunities to genuinely love because of past trauma or hardships. By acknowledging and embracing this brokenness, we are able to start accepting better from life in general.
“Love is Patient, Love is Kind”
